A-Grade Barnstoneworth Saints 2019

Nick Thomas

Nick Thomas

After a career credited with saving four sub-species of Chinese Panda from extinction, Nick Thomas made the switch to Aston Villa's reserve grade squad, before signing with Barnstoneworth Saints.

Kyle Orton

Kyle Orton

Among the first fire-fighters to arrive on the scene of the Notre Dame cathedral blaze, Kyle Orton brings his characteristic sense of adventure to the challenge of playing each week for Barnies Saints.

Talor Sims

Talor Sims

Managing drought relief and economic development of Mongolian tribes of the Gobi Desert, was the inspiration for Talor Sims to play fourteen seasons with Totenham Hotspurs before signing with Barnies Saints in 2019.

James O'Malley

James O'Malley

Best-known for pioneering three speed-climbing routes up the sheer face of El Capitain in Yosemite National Park, James O'Malley has opted for a more sedate pace by signing with Barnies Saints in 2019.

Will Cheney

Will Cheney

For twenty years the public face of the Grenadier Guards outside Buckingham Palace, Will Cheney took up football for fitness before signing with Everton. He joined Barnies Saints in 2019 after someone left the January transfer window open.

John Chapman-Mortimer

John Chapman-Mortimer

A childhood friend of Lionel Messi in the Argentinian working class suburb of Rosario, John Chapman-Mortimer also spent twelve seasons with Barcelona, where he was spotted by scouts for Barnies Saints.

Ash Honeysett

Ash Honeysett

Shortlisted for the Hugo prize for the world's best science fiction novel in 1973, Ash Honeysett broke into the starting side with the Kelowna Rockets in Canadian Hockey League before finding a place with Barnies Saints.

Craig Honeysett

Craig Honeysett

Not content with isolating four previously unknown strains of wild yeast which intensify the colour of spiciness of Pinot Noir, Craig Honeysett is now taking a defensive role with Barnies Saints by the scruff of the neck in 2019.

Ben Sims

Ben Sims

A leading theorist of pre-war Keynsian economics, Ben Sims has since rejected expansionary fiscal policy to sign as a midfielder for Barnstoneworth Saints.

Max Herft

Max Herft

After stepping down from the High Court after the landmark decision which rejected the doctrines of implied intergovernmental immunities, Max Herft was picked up by Blackburn Rovers, playing for fourteen seasons before switching to Barnies Saints in 2019.